Guys always have a reason to want to talk to you, like he wanted to talk to me at first because I "had a nice butt" then because I "knew how to have a good conversation" then it was because he just wanted to fuck you". Like fucking great dude I just wanted to be friends and see where things went and look at where we ended up. I ended up fucked over and for you it was like I never even existed.
Disappointing my parents has to be the most awful feeling there is, its like I change who I am for a while and once somebody comes into my life and I want to fit in with them, I change my whole life for them, and its wrong of me, yes I know, how awful of me to do that, to let them down like that
I never wanted to have sex, not with you anyways..I shouldn't have give in. All this happened because I wanted you to like me.
How naive of me
I don't think people understand, my friends, my family..I don't think they understand that it's not about leaving them behind, about leaving this part of my life behind.
To me it's about new things, meeting new people, a new place and not being afraid to do things on my own,to not be afraid to live.
It's all about finding myself..and I can't do that here.
I find it so annoying how everything with guys is a game now, you take twenty minutes eating, so you don't text him back and he takes forty just to get you back, he posted a picture with another girl because you did not text him back. This is beyond childish and so middle school, if you want to make a move then do it who fucking cares what anybody says dude. Grow a pair and get over it.
You always told me to stand up for myself, to speak up when I didnt like something, the day I did that you got angry and told me I had to quit my "attitude". I'm just glad I did it. I'm glad I spoke up because I've been so content with my life since then. I'm comfortable enough with myself to speak up and say what I feel.
So I've been crushing on this guy that has a beard in my math class for the longest time. I didn't go to class yesterday and I saw him walking to the library so I decided to go up to him and ask him for the work we had done in class and the password to sign in, never had i gone up to a guy I like or found attractive like that. It wasn't anything huge like asking for his number and stuff but if I didn't go up to him I don't think we would ever talk. And he's just so cute
My senior year of high school I lost or I guess you could say pushed away all my friends. They where mean girls, I guess we all were kind of mean or just wrapped up in our own little group. Well the thing was we always excluded each other when we hung out, if one of us didn't feel like inviting a girl from the group we would simply just not text them. Each of us had our own bestfriend in the group but it still sucked being left out.
One day I did exactly the same thing we always did excluded one of them, it became this huge thing all of my "friends" just couldn't get over. They were all angry. I didn't feel bad about not inviting them so I just stopped hanging out with them. Months and months passed, things started getting awkward but I honestly didn't care, I had my boyfriend at the time, and my now bestfriend. I was okay with only having them around, I had the best times with them.
I cheated on my boyfriend and I let that define me, I cheated on him various times, they were choices I made, bad choices I just wanted him to notice me, it wasn't the right way but he did. But I let that define me. I let people call me a slut and I even started to believe it, I wore clothes that were more conservative, I stopped talking to guys, I stopped making guy friends. I felt dirty, I felt like I wasn't worth it because I was a slut but then I realized that all I really needed to say was "fuck you" because I am not a slut, I made mistakes and it's no excuse for cheating but I'm not dirty and I am not worth any less because of those mistakes.